Okay, so you've graduated. Cap thrown, turnt up, moved out, the whole shebang. As you enjoy your "last everythings," you will soon begin to realize that you are no longer protected by the Collegiate Bubble. Friends down the street, Toga Parties, Groundhog Day Parties, doing dumb shit, excuses for doing dumb shit - GONE. As you come to the realization that adult life is just around the corner, you will go through what we call the "7 Stages of Post College Life."
STAGE 1: THE EXCITEMENT
Deuces Bitches. Never will you have to take an exam or write another paper in your life again! This stage consists of celebration brunches and lunches, happy hours and reverse happy hours, while posting your life on "Free & For Sale"
STAGE 2: THE LULL
This time comes a couple of weeks after you've gone through all your tagged graduation photos. You will start to realize that nobody is down to be your BP partner for Becky's Post Celebration Party because everyone who can make an island cup has moved back home or to a different city.
STAGE 3: THE PANIC
AKA the Holly Shit Stage. You start seeing statuses of how Jess got an internship and Jason moved to NY. A game plan needs to form ASAP because once you run out of money, you will have to move in with your parents. And lets be real, you will NOT be getting laid anytime soon.
STAGE 4: THE SELF-REFLECTION
This is the time where you question the shit out of your life choices. Should I have picked up a minor? Did smoking that apple impair my abilities in some type of way? What do you really do with an oceanography background with a specialization in penguin teeth anyways.
STAGE 5: THE YOLO
Circumstances have now forced you to think that the next step in life is to go find yourself in some exotic country and be one with the world. With what money you ask? Good question. #pivot
STAGE 6: THE REGRET
You start to wonder why you left college in the first place. Which instagram account made adulting look totally chic anyways.
STAGE 7: THE ACCEPTANCE
The real world has somewhat warmed up to you. Nobody has died from adulting, so you decide to give it a chance. Yes, you are now back to being the lowest tier of the pyramid. Bad news is that it's not a great spot to be in. Good news is that after a year, a brand new class of noobies will roll through wondering the same things you did.